It’s hard to do the ‘right’ thing

Written By Rachel Ann

If we’re being honest sis, we don’t really like to do the right thing.

I was reminded of that when I was at the gym last week. I saw a pretty sweaty person who finished with their machine and didn't wipe it down. 😖 This happens pretty often but this time around, I got mad because this is why I wipe down my machine before and after each use - because other people don't do their part, now I have to do more to compensate for that.

While this is a very benign example, it got me thinking about things I've had to do because other people didn't do their part.

Because my family of origin didn't maintain psychological safety, I've spent mad money in talk therapy, EMDR, psych meds, and more in order to stay mentally well.

Because my body remembers the trauma, I slow down during certain times of the year that are particularly triggering, in addition to the coping mechanisms I use daily to avoid/manage flashbacks.

Because some people don't care about politics unless it impacts them directly, I sign/send 30-40 petitions/letters to my local gov't officials daily.

Because others don't do their part, I have to do more. And that's taught me a few things…

Your actions matter, so stay prayed up and use wisdom

The things you do have consequences and impact others and yourself. Because of that, staying in regular communication with God is important since prayer helps us stay spiritually prepared, grounded, and connected to Him. And by using wisdom, we’re making thoughtful, discerning choices guided by spiritual insights, practical knowledge, and life experiences. We’re able to see the longevity of the choices we’re making. We’re able to see how our actions impact people near and far from us. We’re able to acknowledge our own part in the mix, take it seriously, and steward our resources well.

So because what you do matters, taking the time to pray through any decision and seek wise counsel is never a waste of time or sign of weakness; they’re signs of a wise, grounded person.

Boundaries heal, not prolonged anger

Girl, I wish staying angry at people who let you down would make you feel better. And while righteous rage is holy and healthy, it shouldn’t be the only place you find yourself for the rest of your life.

Boundaries heal because they give you space to process, get real with yourself, and decide how to move forward with someone. You get clarity and bit of relief. And because of that time to unpack everything, the anger will subside and feel less heavy over time.

Now don’t get me wrong - anger can be a holy and healthy emotion. We don’t want to suppress it sis, we want to unpack it and present it to God. And if it’s unhealthy or sinful anger, then do the same thing - unpack it with a professional and present it to God.

The role of integrity

Being a person of integrity means you do the right thing simply because it's the right thing to do. You can do the right thing while being mad! I know the spirit of pettiness is strong, but the Holy Spirit inside of you is even stronger. 😉

So yes, be frustrated that some people have hurt you and others don't care about things they should care about, and they just get “live” their lives with less obligation and not feeling any type of way about it. And while being frustrated about those things, you can also:

  • feel grateful for having wise counsel that helps you (and if you don’t, hit me up!)

  • use your resources to heal, learn, and grow from this moment

  • praise God showing up in the easy and hard moments of your life

  • rise above their dysfunction and embrace your holy, healthy healing

Remember what the goal of your life is - not to please others, not to give yourself away to other people’s emotions or thoughts about you, not to make decisions without your values in mind…but to move forward in obeying God, repenting frequently, and enjoying the gifts He's given you. You have the power to no longer allow peoples decisions to get in the way of your desire to move forward in holiness and health.

Take a moment to breathe sis, and ask yourself what hurt you’re holding on to. How is it impacting you? How does it show up in your relationships, work, day-to-day life? I have a hunch there’s a lot of healing within those answers, so take time to reflect and see what comes up for you.💜

Need more support? Lemme help you sis:

Rachel Ann
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Digging deep into the purpose of life