The ministry of presence and befriending yourself is key for Christian women of color

Written By Rachel Ann

Recently I was reminded how important the ministry of presence is - being with someone, giving support and companionship, no solutions or taking big actions. Just simply being with them.

It made me think about doing this for myself. What would it look like to be present for myself? How can I be my own companion in this life? Social media and pop psychology talks a lot about self-care and empowerment, but rarely do I see things about enjoying spending time with yourself and actually befriending yourself the way you would befriend other people.

If we think about the way we become friends with other people, we soon realize that we can do that with ourselves too. And as Christian women of color, this is vital. It helps us to see ourselves the way God sees us. We’re able to feel empowered to advocate, petition, and fight for justice in this world that’s either trying to diminish us or change us. As we anchor ourselves in Christ, we’re better equipped to deal with all the stressors of this oppressive world that could make us weary.

So if you’re looking to give yourself the ministry of presence the way you would for others, try these out and see how your care for yourself grows.

Get to know yourself

Something I hear a lot (and experience myself too) is being surprised at how different you are at this age. When you were a child imagining your adult life, there's a good chance you didn't picture the life you're living now. That's no shade, it's okay - there's no real way you'd be able to predict what life would look like and what we'd be dealing with in 2025. 😖

So take the opportunity to get to know yourself now in the different contexts, relationships, and spaces you're in now. You may feel yourself grieving about living a life that's different than what you've prepared yourself for, so give yourself space and understanding if that comes up.

Believe it's worth it

Would you believe it if someone said that you're valuable? Worth knowing? Worth caring about? Whenever I recommend this to someone, they're usually like “there's better things to do with my time” or thinking it's ridiculous or selfish to spend time with yourself. Let me remind you that you are valuable, and spending time on people, places, and activities that are valuable is never a waste of time. Therefore, spending time getting to you know yourself is indeed not a waste of time.

And in case you need a boost, meditate on Isaiah 60:1-2 (NIV) to help you full embrace your value and journal about what’s coming up for you:

“Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth

and thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the Lord rises upon you

and his glory appears over you.”

Practice mindfulness

My clients know how much I love mindfulness - it’s usually their homework assignment.😂Mindfulness is when you pause and allow yourself to be aware of what's happening in that moment, typically focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Ask yourself these three questions:

  • What are my thoughts?

  • What am I feeling emotionally?

  • What are the sensations that my body is experiencing?

No deep dive or going into solutions. The goal is become aware and acquainted with what’s going on in your internal world. This is one my my favorite ways to de-stress during a hectic day, and it only takes a min or two! It helps you regularly check in with yourself and become aware of your internal world.

Allow God to empower you

Befriending and caring for yourself well can be daunting. The Bible talks about how important it is care for ourselves, which is how we know it’s important, and if we’re honest that adds a bit of pressure. So ask God to empower you, give you wisdom in what it looks like to be your own companion today, and to view yourself the way He views you.

Don't be surprised if some tough or unpleasant thoughts come up. Being our own companion means being real with yourself, so give yourself grace and ask for peer and professional support when those thoughts arise.🫂

 

My prayer is that you feel encouraged to become your own friend - that you see yourself how God sees you, that you celebrate aspects of yourself that need celebration, that you become a companion to yourself, that you seeing yourself as someone worth caring about, and that you allow yourself to be a supporter of your own life.💜

 

Need more support? Lemme help you sis:

Rachel Ann
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Healing words from God to Christian women of color in today’s oppressive world